Altered Perceptions

Every so often i talk about drawing. Why? im not that good at it. I can't reach out to people...there are so many things my drawings don't do...kinda like that hot chick (or guy) you wanted, and he(she) ends up being the worst sex in your life. Well, the why is...there is no why (smashing pumpkins)...actually there is, the why is i love the challenge, and more than the challenge i love creating without responsibility or impunity, creating shit that makes no sense (to anyone but me), tenderly hurting and loving mercilessly what i create. Little despot me, ruling over a world of cartoons, and making backsotries that will never be.

This entry is not an incursion into why i draw what i draw. My drawings are not complex enough for that;though if i were to think about it, i'd say there is a certain kind of Modernism that borders on mad Dadaism with just a little hint of the impressionists of old...or you could say and i would consider it a very accurate answer that my drawings, even superheroes or cartoons are an expression of our times, this whole POP frenzy that has dumbed us down. This entry is more directed to me (or any fellow artist, if any stumble into my blog). My most recent reflections on creating is...do we have to...or more accurately, do i have to stick to just one style one way of seeing things? or can i (more likely) dare i? try and change shit around. All this while ive worked on creating this super cool-looking faces, powerful expressions...chick guys wanna fuck, and guys chicks think of marrying and taking home to mom (after he saves or destroy the world)...im still up for that lord knows im a vain motherfucker...i just wonder can i get the same values i try to attain from one style to the other? the sexyness, the tenderness or vulnerability...can i convey the same message even if its a whole different proccess?

Upon trying something new (i hate the word changing my style, because i can do different things) i have been critiqued (as opposed to criticized) by a jury of my peers and recieved mixed reviews, some like the new stuff and welcome it, others say its cool...but weird, and some people tell me i should not sacrifice details like that...its not about the people that see the art (though i love being critiqued or criticized) its about the level of catharsis, of release i feel when i think outside the box. When i approach something in a different manner. What i say is if it doesnt frustrate you or if it you sometimes dont hate it enough to change what you're doing then maybe...just maybe is not worth it.
...Art...or maybe drawing or doodling is painful bitch!

Regarding X-Men

It comes as no surprise, but im one of the biggest X-Geeks, or X-nerds out there. I love the book and i love the cast of bizarre characters and their interactions and convoluted storylines and their passions. I loved this book ever since i was 12 and i spent money that should have been spent on John Livingston Seagull on 4 different X-books: X-Men Classics, Uncanny X-Men, X-Men and the way popular (back then) X-Factor. Who could resist a cover of some guy in a yellow and tan uniform coming straight at you with claws in his hands???...could you?, or when you open a page and see a guy with a cool uniform shooting laser beams out of his eyes. Or my favorite image, a black woman with white hair, almost naked with impossible proportions and startling beauty commanding the elements? it was too much coolness for my 12 year old brain to proccess.

Aside from its coolness, i distinctively remember reading the comic with a english/spanish dictionary by my side and trembling at the introductory line "Sworn to protect a world that hates them and fear them, they are the Children Of The Atom..Stan Lee Presents...the X-Men" i recall being bothered by it. No one is that good, and that is why i kept reading, because for these characters it was tough to go on protecting and dreaming for a better world, and in the end all they had is each other to get through the hard times. Even if they are always fighting and bickering amongst themselves. X-Men is about beautiful people spouting ideologies, fighting naked (with a suspicious cast shadow on their genitalia) on some futuristic landscape you never thought existed until a writer put THAT disturbing idea in your head (i mean, the Savage Land? the Shi'ar Empire? the Astral Plane? different planes of realities? Citadels?, Genosha?...i concur), people making love, being married, facing being different and a very recurring theme in X-Men...the loss of people they love. Death. The title has it all.

I think the genius behind marvel titles, X-Men in particular (that is to say the genius behind Stan Lee...who ironically x-men is his least favored creation) is that they feel like real people, them having powers is just a diversion. A way to make something already interesting...irresistible. Upon reading other marvel titles i have noticed the toughest challenges these heroes face is themselves. Peter Parker struggles with his life, he's middle class american, trying to keep a steady job and be there for his wife and aunt while also protecting the innocent. The Fantastic Four, is another perfect example, Dr. Doom is a window to a world of action and unprecedented technological vistas, where Galactus hungers forever and the Silver Surfer spouts nihilism on the Milky Way; the real treat of the F4 is the family interaction. Coming together as a family to save the world. The X-men encompasses all these topics and includes more (that was mainly thanks to Chris Claremont that re-defined the X-Men). X-men plays with racism, with multi-cultural exchanges, religion etc. always in a new and interesting way.

During my 14 year love affair with X-men i have seen the title change, go to new heights and dismal lows while writers come and go and breathe new life into the title, unafraid (or maybe too afraid) to change the status quo. My favorite X-Men Story is, and will always be "Fatal Attractions" that starts in X-Men 303 perhaps the best written story out there, the team is lost, the dream is shattered and xavier is defeated by his own grief over his impotence to save Illyana Rasputin from death. And Magneto resurfaces again as a fiery messiah announcing a new dream for mutants. After that there have been other great stories, "Phalanx Covenant" (though it felt like a sixteen part hype story to introduce generation x, that at the time was Marvel's best response to Gen13), and of course, the unforgettable Age Of Apocalypse, a look at a world without dreams or hope, a dystopian landscape where only the strong can hope to survive. After that X-Men became dull and boring, the writer of that time Scott Lobdell was dragging (and continued to do so for more years, i mean...Joseph? Bastion?, the 12?). so X-men kinda died for a copule of years...until Grant Morrison re-enviosioned, Re-vitalized, and of course re-hyped the franchise along with Frank Quitely. Only Morrison could do something so different yet stay true to what the Children Of The Atom are all about, this brings to my mind the second best written story of the X-Men Out there: the second part of the "Imperial" story-line, where Jean Grey Opens the school to the human media, and shows them the Xavier Institute Of Higher Learning as a place of hope, of undistilled wonders, a paradise for raw talent to be exploited. After Grant Morrison's departure the title fell into murky territory again. Chuck Austen came on board and did some very horrible stories, and Chris Claremont brought the worst aspects of his run on x-men to the new run (jamie braddock, psylocke, the fury...eeewww). The only thing that kept me going was Wheddon/Cassaday's Astonishing X-Men, that felt like a homage to the now nearly legendary 2-year Morrison run.

And now, the title is yet again soaring sky high thanks to the new messiah of x-scribes, Mike Carey, that started writing out for Vertigo's "Lucifer". The guy is a genius , the "Endangered Species: one shot is truly a wonder, in this title the X-Men face not only their own mortality, but thanks to M-Day, they face the prospect of extinction as a species, the title has that certain despair of fighting a hopeless battle, and he's continued with his stories on X-Men, digging into the characters as best he can, and so far succeeding...to see beast bargaining his wonderful intellect with Marvel U's prominent baddies (Dr.Doom, Red Skull, Arnim Zola, Mr. Sinister, Sugar Man, and the unethical Dark Beast) all just for a glimmer of hope to prevent the imminent extinction of mutantkind has become a rare gift for me. Again, this is a character so ethical and so correct forced to betray his own morality for what he thinks is the greater cause...excellent.

All right, so my little uuhhh...introspect view of x-men is out of the way, i can rest easy now, knowing i expressed my wonder to the title.