This weekend i have outgeeked myself in every aspect i can think of. Let me elaborate: on friday, at 12, i accompanied one my best friends to get the final harry potter book (not for me, because i had already pre-ordered from amazon.com). So i stayed for nearly an hour and a half wating in line for a book i wasnt even gonna buy, on a very hot night, i was drenched in sweat, and a little bit tired because i was with my backpack...and i carry half my world in there. Anyways, my friend got his book and i was along for the ride...i gues it was a cool night.
On saturday i went out to get a haircut and buy my comics (i havent read them yet), when i went to the comics i stayed there with a group of artists and pretty much chatted for like a an hour or two about comics, and comic-making, it's funny i was in a ditch with a drawing i wanted to make, and uopn talking to them they pretty much gave variation of what i had in mind (same angle and everything), and i saw clearly what i had to do. now its all about finding the time to sit down and draw it.
On saturday as well i recieved my copy of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hollows, and i just finished reading the book (2 days, cooped in my room, no tv, or videogames), it sucks....yeah right! this book is the perfect way to end the potter saga, no complaints from me, J.K. Rowling said goodbye with style, i love her writing style and her rich imagination, she always outshines herself in every book and gives this characters (who started out very simple) so much complexity and feeling. This book is filled with action, fun, and a lot of drama, it may be the toughest book to read in my opinion not only because of the finality of it, but there's a lot of deaths of very beloved characters...i swear, at the end i was just numb i was already used to some character i love getting offed (dont get me wrong i still suffered, but it wasnt as much of a shock). Im surprised for some reason i thought this was gonna be some lame-o ending but it wasnt, this book is by far the best potter book ever, even better than Goblet Of Fire (that was the most action packed) and yes even better than my previous favorite The Order Of The Phoenix (which was all about rebellion, friendship and family). There's so many plot twists that one can get dizzy (and they are all good plot twsit not the M. Night Shyamalan plot twist that you always expect at the end of his movies). At the end, it does sort of sucks that this is it, the end of the road for one of my favorite books...a book that challenged my imagination after Lord Of the Rings...oh well, i guess its back to dragonlance books
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Multiple thoughts
It has been a very interesting week, i've seen new movies, including Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, i saw a movie called "Driving Lessons" and Factory Girl (sort of). I also defeated Zodiark in Final Fantasy 12 (and that is no mere feat), and finally spend some time inking and drawing and all that good shit.
Now, about the movies. Harry Potter 5 (and the order of the phoenix) kicked ass, maybe my opinion is a little bit biased because book 5 is my favorite HP book. Heyi was in denial when the shit hit the fan. It had excellent acting (ralph fiennes rules as Voldemort, cant wait to see 6, since is basically a Voldemort movie). It had better editing thatn the 4th one (Goblet Of Fire) that i felt lost with so many changes of scenes, and so abruptly (though i understand, having read the 4th book, perhaps the longest in the HP series, it must have been a bitch to adapt to a 2 hour 30 minutes movie), and we get to see that Dumbledore rules. and yaaaay for Thestrals in 5, i felt cheated when the sphinx got the ax in HP 4.
Driving Lessons is a british movie starring Rupert Grint (ron in HP) and Julie Walters (the lady in Billy Elliott). The movie is about Ben (played by rupert grint), a shi christian and how he develops a friendship with a retired actress who is very eccentric, and puts the son at odds with his overzealus, religious and judgemental mother (who is a piece of work). The movie is basically about a journey of self discovery, great acting, i really love movies like this, because you think you know all there is to know about the character and then they end up surprising you.
I won't even get into Factory Girl, the only good thing about that movie is Sienna Miller's tits, and is it just me or Hayden Christensen really, really can't act??
Changing the subject, i've continued to delve into the murky realms of inking and by doing so i can finally refute the famous Chris Rock line in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back "if you a inker, then you a tracer". Inking is not just about tracing, there are certain things in inking that one has to consider in order for a drawing to stand out, inking is kinda like making choices. There are drawings that call out for a very... i dunno for lack of a better word aggressive, dynamic inking (lots of black blobs, and heavy hatching), whereas there are certain drawings that go for a lighter more delicate approach. When is it too much hatching? or When do i need more?, Should i go with the brush? or the quill? i never expected so many decsions, but great inking can only make my art stand out, so ill keep on that pony
Now, about the movies. Harry Potter 5 (and the order of the phoenix) kicked ass, maybe my opinion is a little bit biased because book 5 is my favorite HP book. Heyi was in denial when the shit hit the fan. It had excellent acting (ralph fiennes rules as Voldemort, cant wait to see 6, since is basically a Voldemort movie). It had better editing thatn the 4th one (Goblet Of Fire) that i felt lost with so many changes of scenes, and so abruptly (though i understand, having read the 4th book, perhaps the longest in the HP series, it must have been a bitch to adapt to a 2 hour 30 minutes movie), and we get to see that Dumbledore rules. and yaaaay for Thestrals in 5, i felt cheated when the sphinx got the ax in HP 4.
Driving Lessons is a british movie starring Rupert Grint (ron in HP) and Julie Walters (the lady in Billy Elliott). The movie is about Ben (played by rupert grint), a shi christian and how he develops a friendship with a retired actress who is very eccentric, and puts the son at odds with his overzealus, religious and judgemental mother (who is a piece of work). The movie is basically about a journey of self discovery, great acting, i really love movies like this, because you think you know all there is to know about the character and then they end up surprising you.
I won't even get into Factory Girl, the only good thing about that movie is Sienna Miller's tits, and is it just me or Hayden Christensen really, really can't act??
Changing the subject, i've continued to delve into the murky realms of inking and by doing so i can finally refute the famous Chris Rock line in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back "if you a inker, then you a tracer". Inking is not just about tracing, there are certain things in inking that one has to consider in order for a drawing to stand out, inking is kinda like making choices. There are drawings that call out for a very... i dunno for lack of a better word aggressive, dynamic inking (lots of black blobs, and heavy hatching), whereas there are certain drawings that go for a lighter more delicate approach. When is it too much hatching? or When do i need more?, Should i go with the brush? or the quill? i never expected so many decsions, but great inking can only make my art stand out, so ill keep on that pony
Friday, July 13, 2007
Back To Basics
Man, ive been drawing a lot recently, not only drawing but inking and i guess experimenting new ways to adapt what i see into paper, make it look more dynamic.
Lots of it has to do with the fact that i'm starting a comic...but it has been a while since i have done this, so im out of practice, and maybe i have read too many comics and i am overthininking on stuff that i should do, asking myself, "does this panneling serve a better purpose this way?" or check, double-check and triple check the arrangements of the figures so it follows a more....uuuh seamless storytelling...i know, too much work for something i'm not getting paid to do, but i just want it to look good, leave a lasting impression.
Anyways, what kind of man would i be if i didnt have the same hubris as the greek gods who nearly destroyed themselves pursuing their mad passions? the answer is NO MAN AT ALL! A FUCKING MOUSE, A MOUSE!!! (i read somewhere and its a bit off topic, that men could never understand the feelings of the gods, only because men have only an inkling of an idea of what a real feeling is...as opposed to the gods who allowed themselves to fully understand their pettyness, their passions and lusts)
anyway...amborsia to the greek gods, may it warm the ichor, and may they live in the hubris that brings downfall...and for me? beer for me, may it intoxicate me and make my brain rattle like tic-tacs. Oh and may the muses fall down from olympus (i need all of 'em) so i can continue drawing
Saturday, July 7, 2007
The Chumscrubber
Well, before i start i feel it is necessary to commendate Al Gore and Live Earth for their valiant effort (God, i feel like a 60 year old man saying that word) to raise awareness and funds that go towards global warming. God i wanna be there to enjoy great music...anyways, we all need a little awareness.
Well, anyways, im not writing about Live Earth (though i still think it's a bitching idea). Nor about dreams, lately i cant remember what i dream, and im getting at least 5 to 6 hours of sleep (which is the average of hours a normal person gets, so we all suffer from not getting the appropriate time of rest...8 hours) and well, im trying to be less forgetful and disoriented...so so far so good.
I saw a movie in HBO called the chumscrubber and i really liked it...enough to write about it, i still question HBO's rating system, it only gave it 2 stars out of 4, but it clearly is a great movie, and they gave the amanda bynes move almost 3 stars. This movie is like a dark comedy about the lives of the average dysfunctional family in a rich neighborhood. The main character Dean (played by billy elliott's jamie bell) is a depressed teenager that finds his best friend commited suicide, and now a bunch of drug dealers are chasing him because his friend owed the dealer's a lot of merchandise. To make things worse Dean's father is a self abosorbed psychologist that instead of listening to his son he analyses him so he can write new books and instead of giving his son love he gives him a new batch of pills to make Dean numb.
The plot thickens when the drug dealers desperate for the merchandise decide to kidnap Dean's little brother (played by either kieran or rory culkin), but, they kidnap the wrong kid...and still hold him for ransom. This part of the movie is kind of sad, because Dean goes to the kid's parents but the mother and her new husband are too busy with their carrer and selfish bullshit to even notice that their own son has not been in the house for at least 2 days. So the movie revolves around the kids left to their own devices and parents not giving a shit what their kids do.
The movie is clearly an exageration, but i often ask myself how much of an exageration can it be? sure, the situation might seem outlandish, but not the concept it is grounded on. The chumscrubber is an insightful look at people crying for help, whether is teens commiting suicide, or suffering from depression, or even the parents of these characters that are unhappy in their lives, in their marriages and live a farse and transform these frustration into indifference for their own children...ok now im rambling...but it still is an awesome movie, im glad i stayed awake til 5 A.M. and watched it
Well, anyways, im not writing about Live Earth (though i still think it's a bitching idea). Nor about dreams, lately i cant remember what i dream, and im getting at least 5 to 6 hours of sleep (which is the average of hours a normal person gets, so we all suffer from not getting the appropriate time of rest...8 hours) and well, im trying to be less forgetful and disoriented...so so far so good.
I saw a movie in HBO called the chumscrubber and i really liked it...enough to write about it, i still question HBO's rating system, it only gave it 2 stars out of 4, but it clearly is a great movie, and they gave the amanda bynes move almost 3 stars. This movie is like a dark comedy about the lives of the average dysfunctional family in a rich neighborhood. The main character Dean (played by billy elliott's jamie bell) is a depressed teenager that finds his best friend commited suicide, and now a bunch of drug dealers are chasing him because his friend owed the dealer's a lot of merchandise. To make things worse Dean's father is a self abosorbed psychologist that instead of listening to his son he analyses him so he can write new books and instead of giving his son love he gives him a new batch of pills to make Dean numb.
The plot thickens when the drug dealers desperate for the merchandise decide to kidnap Dean's little brother (played by either kieran or rory culkin), but, they kidnap the wrong kid...and still hold him for ransom. This part of the movie is kind of sad, because Dean goes to the kid's parents but the mother and her new husband are too busy with their carrer and selfish bullshit to even notice that their own son has not been in the house for at least 2 days. So the movie revolves around the kids left to their own devices and parents not giving a shit what their kids do.
The movie is clearly an exageration, but i often ask myself how much of an exageration can it be? sure, the situation might seem outlandish, but not the concept it is grounded on. The chumscrubber is an insightful look at people crying for help, whether is teens commiting suicide, or suffering from depression, or even the parents of these characters that are unhappy in their lives, in their marriages and live a farse and transform these frustration into indifference for their own children...ok now im rambling...but it still is an awesome movie, im glad i stayed awake til 5 A.M. and watched it
Thursday, July 5, 2007
For a moment it seemed that it was over. It seemed that i wasn't having anymore dreams, just a case of insomnia or what i'd like to call an "overabundance of creativity best expressed at night". But like in any good horror story, shit happens when you least expect it.
It was the 3rd of july (more precise, the 4th of july at 3 am) and maybe i dreamt because i saw transformers (though the dream wasnt at all transformers related...or maybe it was). Anyways, this dream is a recurring one, its not the first time i dream about stuff like this.
In this dream i am myself, and i am in a normal scenario, in this case i was at my job talking to my boss when i spit up blood. It fell scarlett red on my black and white shirt and it shines technicolor, like a clue in a detective story, but my boss...she doesnt notice, so i ignore this little incident and continue talking...the more i talk the more the blood spills from my mouth, and the more i ignore it the more it smells. I continue talking, until i feel something rolling inside my mouth, made of jagged edges and with a very pulpy feel, i dont know what it is, so i stick my fingers inside my mouth and try to find the problem..after not much digging i find it is a tooth that has fallen (im not a dentist but i can venture to say it is a canine). Terrified i spit the tooth out, and as it fell i can still see pieces of gum and nerves clinging to it. My boss, she continues talking and talking. It pisses me off she cant notice that i spit out a fucking tooth...and she doesnt even acknowledge that my blood stinks!
At this point my boss is pretty much having a one-way conversation since i have become engrossed with the events ocurring inside of my mouth, this time, i jab my finger at the hole where my tooth (canine) used to be, and i feel a little bit of pain, desperate about this gaping hole in my mouth i procced to check out another one of my teeth. As soon as i touch the other tooth it starts dancing, threatening me to fall off. But me, being the stubborn son of a bitch that i am continue to prod, until the other tooth falls off. Then i move to another tooth, and another, and another, and as soon as i touch a tooth, it falls and there's more blood. my shirt is now red, and my desk is covered in gums, blood and teeth. At this point my mouth is like a newborn baby's just a roof made of pink-red gums and no teeth whatsoever. I dance my tongue around the cavities where my teeth used to be...it feels so damn real, this is where my mind begins to proccess i have no teeth...at all and i can feel a change in the temperature outside of my dream...i begin to sweat...and its at this moment that i discover that everything i touch with that finger...falls off, so i am abot to touch my eye when i wake up in a sweat, i rin off to the bathroom and open my mouth, and for a minute i cant see any teeth in there, i have to calm myself, close my eyes, take some tylenol (just to self-medicate, because i have no headache) and go to the bathroom again, there they are my teeth, complete in a row, not as white as a pearl, but clean enough, i brush my teeth like a fanatic and gurgle some lysterine. and try to go back to sleep.
It was the 3rd of july (more precise, the 4th of july at 3 am) and maybe i dreamt because i saw transformers (though the dream wasnt at all transformers related...or maybe it was). Anyways, this dream is a recurring one, its not the first time i dream about stuff like this.
In this dream i am myself, and i am in a normal scenario, in this case i was at my job talking to my boss when i spit up blood. It fell scarlett red on my black and white shirt and it shines technicolor, like a clue in a detective story, but my boss...she doesnt notice, so i ignore this little incident and continue talking...the more i talk the more the blood spills from my mouth, and the more i ignore it the more it smells. I continue talking, until i feel something rolling inside my mouth, made of jagged edges and with a very pulpy feel, i dont know what it is, so i stick my fingers inside my mouth and try to find the problem..after not much digging i find it is a tooth that has fallen (im not a dentist but i can venture to say it is a canine). Terrified i spit the tooth out, and as it fell i can still see pieces of gum and nerves clinging to it. My boss, she continues talking and talking. It pisses me off she cant notice that i spit out a fucking tooth...and she doesnt even acknowledge that my blood stinks!
At this point my boss is pretty much having a one-way conversation since i have become engrossed with the events ocurring inside of my mouth, this time, i jab my finger at the hole where my tooth (canine) used to be, and i feel a little bit of pain, desperate about this gaping hole in my mouth i procced to check out another one of my teeth. As soon as i touch the other tooth it starts dancing, threatening me to fall off. But me, being the stubborn son of a bitch that i am continue to prod, until the other tooth falls off. Then i move to another tooth, and another, and another, and as soon as i touch a tooth, it falls and there's more blood. my shirt is now red, and my desk is covered in gums, blood and teeth. At this point my mouth is like a newborn baby's just a roof made of pink-red gums and no teeth whatsoever. I dance my tongue around the cavities where my teeth used to be...it feels so damn real, this is where my mind begins to proccess i have no teeth...at all and i can feel a change in the temperature outside of my dream...i begin to sweat...and its at this moment that i discover that everything i touch with that finger...falls off, so i am abot to touch my eye when i wake up in a sweat, i rin off to the bathroom and open my mouth, and for a minute i cant see any teeth in there, i have to calm myself, close my eyes, take some tylenol (just to self-medicate, because i have no headache) and go to the bathroom again, there they are my teeth, complete in a row, not as white as a pearl, but clean enough, i brush my teeth like a fanatic and gurgle some lysterine. and try to go back to sleep.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Starting Off
Let me start this off by saying that im ok. well...as ok as a mildly depressed 26 year old guy with no bright future can be. But this blog is not about about me whining or bitching about how i don't have the job i feel i'm supposed to have (at least not yet). This blog, this little space of...what? information...technology? i'm not even articulate enough to come up with a breath-taking metaphor that can express how i feel, no matter...this blog is not about me being verbose either (though i sooo desperately want to be). What this is, is like my cluttered little room with all my comics thrown over my bed and desk and floor battling for territory, battling for supremacy (and so far winning), this is a place where i can post most my fears, for i am afraid of everything, or where i can actually write something if i feel the feeling is choking the life out of me.
Back to being afraid...you see, im afraid im losing my mind, im afraid i am going insane...for the last 2 months i have been suffering from insmonia...and in those little slivers of indiscretion...where i wrest sleep from the clutches of insomnia i dream. Dreaming is not the problem, the problem is waking up. When i wake up it becomes so tough for me to find myself, my identity has been replaced, and it feels that this person i pretended to be during the dream (or maybe when we sleep we get to be an alter ego, we get to be some other person in different planes of reality...where everything is possible) has come throgh the planes that divide reality. Yes it seem confusing thats why im expalining my last two dreams...this was just last week.
On thursday i woke up at 5 am (after going to sleep at 3) i had somehow woken up with a lingering after-effect of the dream i have had, you see, in the dream i was a spy and i told someone in vivid details all the lies i have lived and how deep undercover i went for the sake of the mission, yes it sounds cool...it was until i woke up...when i woke up i was still a spy and not the person who writes this stupid bullshit, i was so convinced of it, for a minute i didnt recognize my room, or didnt even recognize my own skin. And for the life of me i could not recall any minor details about my life (my actual life, with the dead-end job, and very few friends), but i remembered the lies, the mission and all that useless stuff. This lasted about an hour and a half when i couldnt remember my real self.
On saturday at 7 am (after going to bed at 4) i wake up, seems i was dreaming i was one of those killers, you know a slasher in a slasher flick? (freddy krueger, jason, mike myers halloween) and i had excised some guy's testicles and yes, the other guy...the victim? it was also me. This dream was tedious because i couldn't escape or hide...and at the same time i couldnt find myself to finish the damn job and forcefeed the victim that was me my own testicles! so when i wake up its the same story, i dont even know who i am, o where i am, i feel like running out of my room and there are two thoughts in my mind...escape...kill...and this took me about 15 minutes to get my heart rate down...and then to slowly pull memories from my brain.
And this way i spend most of my nights...and im afraid that with every night that passes i remember less and less of the person i am. Yes it seems stupid. To me it isn't because i feel my actual sanity slipping away
Back to being afraid...you see, im afraid im losing my mind, im afraid i am going insane...for the last 2 months i have been suffering from insmonia...and in those little slivers of indiscretion...where i wrest sleep from the clutches of insomnia i dream. Dreaming is not the problem, the problem is waking up. When i wake up it becomes so tough for me to find myself, my identity has been replaced, and it feels that this person i pretended to be during the dream (or maybe when we sleep we get to be an alter ego, we get to be some other person in different planes of reality...where everything is possible) has come throgh the planes that divide reality. Yes it seem confusing thats why im expalining my last two dreams...this was just last week.
On thursday i woke up at 5 am (after going to sleep at 3) i had somehow woken up with a lingering after-effect of the dream i have had, you see, in the dream i was a spy and i told someone in vivid details all the lies i have lived and how deep undercover i went for the sake of the mission, yes it sounds cool...it was until i woke up...when i woke up i was still a spy and not the person who writes this stupid bullshit, i was so convinced of it, for a minute i didnt recognize my room, or didnt even recognize my own skin. And for the life of me i could not recall any minor details about my life (my actual life, with the dead-end job, and very few friends), but i remembered the lies, the mission and all that useless stuff. This lasted about an hour and a half when i couldnt remember my real self.
On saturday at 7 am (after going to bed at 4) i wake up, seems i was dreaming i was one of those killers, you know a slasher in a slasher flick? (freddy krueger, jason, mike myers halloween) and i had excised some guy's testicles and yes, the other guy...the victim? it was also me. This dream was tedious because i couldn't escape or hide...and at the same time i couldnt find myself to finish the damn job and forcefeed the victim that was me my own testicles! so when i wake up its the same story, i dont even know who i am, o where i am, i feel like running out of my room and there are two thoughts in my mind...escape...kill...and this took me about 15 minutes to get my heart rate down...and then to slowly pull memories from my brain.
And this way i spend most of my nights...and im afraid that with every night that passes i remember less and less of the person i am. Yes it seems stupid. To me it isn't because i feel my actual sanity slipping away
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