Of The Unknown

All my life i've been drawing in black and white. First it was pencil only, because i thought i really excelled at it, so i never ventured outside of what i've known. Always sticking to what i thought was my strenghts,God forbid i try something new, or i fuck up a drawing (as if i have a deadline). This i dont know what to call it, reasoning, logic, whatever it was kept me from discovering other things in drawing, or art in general, so i never gave a chance to some other things, until i started thinking, "well...it's flat, it doesn't stand out". That's when i started trying new things.

Now, now im not afraid of fucking up for the sake of something new, that's how i gave inking a chance. I wanted my shit to stand out, and have that kind of marvel comics look, or those heaviliy hatched Jim Lee look. Sometimes trying new things is the way to improve, like looking at the world with an altered perception of realism, or switching from quill pen to brush, or using both to get what you want. Anyways, my inking still sucks...but it can only get better...right?

And after a while of just inking, i see my drawings lacking, they dont look lively, they need something else, so i started reading tutorials online and dusted off my trusty old pal photoshop cs2. To say it was uncomfortable is an understatement, after all, we will always be wary of stuff that we are unfamiliar with, so at first i treated Photoshop like that friend of a friend that hangs out in a different social circle, and quite probably i wanted to leave my project half-way and say to myself "thats what you get for thinking you can do this"; but my father's voice came into my head, nagging and always comparing and findind my defects and somehow magnifying them so i look and feel vile. That's when i decided to stick with it, to have one over the old man. So it was still tough to go on, but i like to think it's not Photoshop's fault, but my own demands of what i'd like to see, and i somehow can't get it out of Photoshop. When it was finished i felt satisfied that i finished, and i liked how it looked, but im still pissed that i couldnt do some of the other stuff i had enviosioned.